Monday, December 12, 2011


My size 7 was too big for her
yet attitude filled the gap between 
her heel and the back of her shoe
fitted her better

My mother's eyes
calm, but clouded
another layer in between
separates us

The storm seemed like rain
she stopped looking at the window
and ran out to welcome
the wet confettis from heaven

Her hair was glorious
long black gorgeous
grey and musty
they now luster no more

My baby stared at me
the to her first chicken feet
disgust and excitement
in her eyes

Trembling she reached out
slowly breathed
intangible words
of quiet love

a month of camp
without me
said it was fun
i wont be here forever

At first there was hope
but now it all seemed
clearly our time
is nearing its end

your bursts of anger
i hardly remember
there were too many
to count and still love

bright blue sky
a scorn to what may
mom looked out
touched my furrowed brows

as you walk in your robe
my nose stings
you told me not to cry
'save that for my wedding'

"Don't comfort me.. That's my role, that's why I'm here" 
"My baby"
"What was that, Mom...?"

One or two silent strokes, a bigger one two months ago, a trip and fall last night. mom's tongue is numbed, as with the left side of her body. Trouble breathing, but no trouble smiling. I don't know if that's a fight to stay alive, or just her waiting for all her children to gather around. A trip from the states took 2 days mom, so hold on tight. I'll be coming soon, my flight is in 2 hours.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


12/7/11 was the day I wrote this. I wonder what kept me from publishing..

A piece of two worlds
energized by longings to be 
one of the two

Your hands made it
with a dream to reach mine
programmed to your language
mine it won't understand

Your satellite looked back
as it left your atmosphere
grinning in excitement
it is hungry for space

It takes years of stillness
to ponder through maturity,
of many tribulations, and
taxing emotions

Because it misses you
so terribly
it thinks less of me
and my wonders

it looked back
to your blue planet
wishing for warmth
and temporary worries
for tight hugs
and traffic jams
for assuring smiles
and stupid shrieks at
horror movies

take back your satellite, earth
because it revolves around you
and it longs to be in you
no more looking from afar
waiting for something to happen

Monday, December 5, 2011

dan lalu
hari mendung kembali menyapa
kelas kelas gelap penuh nyawa
suck us all in